Lost at sea – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is a weekly group hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields who chooses a photo prompt to inspire writers to produce a 100 word piece of flash fiction.  Do use the link to her blog if you are interested in joining the group.  It’s a great way to get involved in writing.

boat

PHOTO PROMPT – Copyright – Georgia Koch

Lost at sea

“I’ll take you sailing,” he said. The menace in his voice indicated that it would not be a pleasant trip.  Yet here we were, about to go on board.  I looked at my brother.  He stared back at me.

 His resentment at my birth had deepened as the years had passed.  Nothing I did could reduce his bitterness and hostility.  His intention was to get rid of me.

 The boat was barely seaworthy.  How far out before it sank?  There would be no escape.  The ketamine would see to that.

 I wished him well and dragged him onto the deck.

 

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13 thoughts on “Lost at sea – Friday Fictioneers

  1. “Yet here we were, about to go on board.” considering that this is past tense, you might want to change “here” to “there.”

    “I wished him well and dragged him onto the deck.” if you dragged him onto the deck, what happened in the moments after he invited you to go sailing? is he unconscious?

    also, are there two or three people? it felt to me that there was a father inviting two children (the two who stared at each other) on board. or is it the brother inviting the speaker on board and they are staring at each other?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your detailed response to my story. I did not choose the word “there” because it introduces a distance. We are “here” in this place, not there. The “here we were” refers to the narrator and his/her brother. The brother has actually given an indirect imperative rather than an invitation. The narrator knows the brother has malicious intent because of the deep seated resentment that has grown over the years. In the interval between the ‘requirement’ to go sailing and meeting his/her brother to do so, the narrator has planned his/her own course of action. The clue about what has happened to the brother is in the “ketamine”. I hope this has provided the information you sought without giving too much away to other readers!

      Like

    1. In my mind, I had the narrator as a woman! I didn’t give any gender clues though so the reader’s own interpretation is perfectly valid. Their choice! Thank you for your response. I’m glad you liked the story and my approach to the prompt.

      Liked by 1 person

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